Glorious ruins (cross country 2014)

Hey guys, 

My calves are aching right now, my back sore from my sunburn. Yet, I'm reflecting on how today went and I realized I've got a lot to thank The Lord for. 

Firstly, my day didn't start off very well. Just to remind you that Jo is human too. As the house captains were supposed to lead the athlete's pledge, I took things too lightly and it was perceived to be disrespectful. Moreover, I did this infront of the school, the principals and Ms Jo Teo. (At this point you might think like WAH Jo you 16 already still so childish?!? Hahaha ya sorry to disappoint I do have moments where I'm too rash) basically, i kinda messed up right then, together with XQ'S stage fright, Mr Singh said that, "you guys embarrass yourselves."

And that's how my morning began. 

Let's backtrack a little more to the night before cross country, where I was practically nervous and excited for cross country?!? I counted the number of people, trackers, netballers who would pass me and it was impossible with me to place top 5. I mean c'mon I barely made it to top 10 in sec 2? 

However, during the run, I had a head start behind Kerryn and Kitty, pacing with Rui Rong. Through the race, there were many many people supporting me, red house and just so filled with house spirit. Now, I'm not trying to brag that there are people cheering for me, but rather I'd like you to actually notice the hype and drastic increase in red house's spirit. 

If you actually remember, (you wouldn't actually) my last year's red house captain speech was mainly to serve the school by being that somebody to REIGNITE house spirit. You've gotta admit that compared to the past few years, house spirit hasn't exactly been the strongest. And that was why I decided to run for captain, to lead and instill this hype and craziness in st Cecilia, which today I saw in even the lower secondary. It's really amazing that when The Lord picks you to shine for Him, He equips you with His favour with your peers, and His grace for your mistakes. 

For this 1 year of being captain, I won't and can't say I've been the best captain, but I really wanna thank The Lord for making everyone in 2013/2014 house comm run for 2014/2015's house comm. (If you're surprised that I'm thankful for that simple fact, you're wrong. 2 years ago, only gen and I ran for house again, while the comm members didn't even run for comm again. And I was really upset because of that.) I can't even ask for better house comm members and I just wanna say that the BANNER WAS AMAZING. You guys make me a proud mama. 

Glorious ruins indeed. 

At the last stretch of the race, Nathalie Tan infact ran the last stretch of my race with me, pushing my through the finish line. Honestly I'm so blessed to have gotten to know nath because I'm like this little kido while she, being one year younger, feels like my mother instead HAHHA. 

Miraculously, and i really wanna say that it was by the Grace of God that I placed 2nd in the sec 4 and 5 race. Even when you feel in life that it's impossible, hey, know that The Lord is with you and He will cause you to run this race with so much peace, because His favour and grace just overflows out of you man!!!!!!!!! 

Through cross country, I've met my true friends who honestly celebrate and are sincerely happy for my placing. And it just warms my heart to know that despite the fact that in lower sec I messed up, I'm still able to find true friends in IJ. 

Glorious ruin indeed. 

___________________________________

After cross country, 3AM, XQ, Vic and Sandy came over to swim and chill at my house, while munching on some food that we brought. It was just so heartwarming seeing that after trying to plan what to do after x country, everything just fell in place. This wasn't because I was a good planner because initially, only 7 people was coming, but in the end 11 came. No seriously I can't emphasize enough how it was purely by the Grace of God that enabled us all to gather and have so much fun 😭 i really love them all so much that I decided to text them because they my baes. 

In the late afternoon, I met up with my netballers to have a catching up session, where we had LLAOLLAO, followed by going to esplanade library for chong's art. They're another batch of my love, and I'm so blessed to have them. They're just so encouraging, and we're sincerely happy for each other's placing! Hehe I really just am able to open up to them and they make me laugh so much or maybe because I'm laughing at myself? 

Ps XZ's letter came and I'm so excited to read it :') hehe so timely cos she sent a picture of cross country 2 years ago. 

Some pics: 

Our Lord is not One who gives without giving back much more

Hey guys!! 

Was sharing with Jing Yi ( recruitment for RSM) and here it goes 😌 

"Serving in RSM honestly wasn't exactly the smoothest journey, as I received a ministry break when I was sec 3, and wasn't serving until towards the end of 2013. Yet, during that 6 months of not serving The Lord was faithful and I continued to just receive from Pastor. When I resumed serving in RS, I found myself serving so much more restfully and just out of the overflow as compared to how I was serving previously. Moreover, i received my double portions from the RS leaders, through the revelation of the gospel as they shared weekly :') 

During EJ, I was serving during ministering as a catcher. After I went up to be prayed, I resumed catching for the rest of the congregation. The amazing thing was that The Lord spoke to me not when hands were being laid on me, but when I was SERVING HIM. As I patted a girl who was sobbing while being prayed for, AT THAT MOMENT The Lord spoke to me. That was an incredible double portion for me during EJ, as The Lord revealed to me that right where I was, serving, He would come to touch me. You might feel that by serving, you will be shortchanged or you'll miss out, but the truth is that the Lord is never one who takes without giving back much more! Infact, when you serve in His house, He will bless you with a double portion, more than you can ever ask or imagine!

-Jojojojojojojojo 

3 years, but the Lord did what 4 years could.

Hey guys!

so you guys must be wondering what the title means. it's actually my DG- ADONAI. we're different in the sense that we're the only group who was formed when we were sec 2. majority of Adonai members are from above, and only Nikki, Andrea and I were from Anchor Ark.

We had a year less to bond as a DG.

Despite that one year we didn't get to spend as a DG, the Lord still bonded us like any other DG, and even blessed us with such an amazing DGL.
#wowsomuchlove

so i'm just gonna spend some time describing those who went for camp, (not all from Adonai because i already gave them each a super personal message).

LADIES FIRST!

Megs, my childhood friend whom dances so amazingly! and she's also the one who inspired and encouraged me to dance too. Her birthday just passed not too long ago but she's still so lame pls.
She's the first girl i even planted a kiss on her cheek but that's cos i really feel like we're sisters sometimes, and i'm really touchy with my sisters heh.

Charis aka no longer robocop. hahaha i love you Charis, you're such a sweet girl whose always there to just make fun of me. And idk why but i like being disturbed by you. hehe

Kaili my roomie whose so open and sometimes it's just hilarious to hear you rant hahah. love you girl! Btw, one year anniversary to us being roomies! never thought we would end up this close but we did. and you're very accepting to my boy stories and also my opinions. thanks bb.

Alexis, my other roomie whom i never thought we'd be so close! you're so adorable and it's hilarious how you and AHEM had a couple tee hahahahah! i'm jk but you're so sweet thank you!

JULIE WHOSE SUCH AN AMAZING DGL. Despite the fact that she had some personal issues, she chose to stay and serve 😭

Guys:

Kelvin Chua Wei Hao who was whiny that his picture was not on insta. hahah THIS HILARIOUS MAN OF GOD IS UP FOR GRAB SOON ENOUGH. ;-) Thanks for alays being there for me and listening to my boy drama aka ham and being to trustworthy MOST of the times ah. hahaha i'm really gonna miss you so so much and yes the promise i made will be kept.

RC aka Chiow! you're the KKK but i really love you with the love of God! keep shining natural beauty.

ELI mah hoomie whom i've seen grow so so much. Always here for you alright!

Carrot aka Garett haha thank you for always being here for me and when i'm really insecure. you're hilarious so keep vlogging and i will man up soon HAHA.

Josh, whom i will pretend to know personally. thank you for looking so cool during P&W, so i edited this for us to enjoy God's creation together.

Moses whose so whiny sometimes. AND SO ANNOYING COS HE TELLS ME TO CALL HIM BACK AFTER HER BRUSHES HIS TEETH. aiya whatever you annoying.

Here are some more pics xoxo

Legacy 2014

I’m an MM, yes. 

But no, I’m not the perfect, confident and “holy” Jo that you’d think I’d be. For those of you who don’t know what an MM is, we basically armourbear our DGL; you could call us mini DGLs? Haha anyway, there are people who think that I’m ALWAYS cheerful, so “holy”/set apart, but you know what. I’M FAR FROM THAT HA HA HA. SURPRISE. I was journaling before EJ and I found myself writing how tough 2014 has been, how sick I was crying myself to sleep and just feeling so down.

It was hard yes.

Wait, now let’s see what the Lord has done for me through Legacy.

Firstly, it was not on my expectations list to be bonded with my girlies, because tbh I’d expected us to be in 3 different “cliques” and for it to be hopelessly awkward. But by the first night, we were the NOISIEST table and we were all laughing so loudly that we all couldn’t catch our breaths. Through EJ, I really got to know them all more, and I’m really thankful that the Lord has restored the years the locusts had eaten.

(if ya’ll didn’t know, something happened between Shannon and I, and also with Lynn ahhah but PRAISE THE LORD EVERYTHING’S COOL NOW!) 

So i'm going to be really vulnerable here, because you know through my weakness, then the Lord can shine through my life, and everyone will know that it's the Lord working in me! since the start of 2014, i've been going through really tough phases of life, whether it was academic, family, relationship wise, it was nothing compared to 2013. 2013 was the smoothest year for me; that's a another whole story.

and i was just telling the Lord to mend my broken heart in this camp...

I'm not sure if you guys remember but there was this once Pastor Daniel actually had a ministering for those who had suicidal thought. And yes, i was one of them whom the call spoke to me. 

(surprise number 2)

For the past half of the year, i constantly felt insignificant, and sometimes i lost sight of WHY i'm even alive. Those thought of, "even if i die, no one will even notice. even if they did, would they care? NO." 

i was trapped in this arena of emotions in which it gradually hit me harder each time, and the overwhelming thoughts of suicide grew stronger. 

This went on for many months and i gradually found it harder and harder to stay positive, or joyful. even if i truly did, they never really lasted. And i started to question if i was going through depression. For those of you in school who know me, i'm always cheerful on the outside because sometimes i just don't want people to ask me what happened. haha it was just tough because i felt like i was depressed.

(Things got better a few weeks before my birthday (in May), when i spoke to my mum and i told her about my suicidal thoughts.)

Those of you who can relate to me, let me just admit that these feelings are very real.

But you know what, we have a savior whose even more real. 

His name is Jesus.

But you know what, YOU'RE NOT WHAT YOU FEEL. You feel depressed, but you're NOT under depression. You feel insignificant, but you're not insignificant. 

Pastor Prince had this call where he wanted to pray for those who were trapped in the arena of emotions, and were easily moved and uprooted because of that. He wanted to lay hands on those who went up, and be able to learn from the Lord HOW to deal with such emotions) i went up, got prayed and felt nothing. 

But you know what, you don't need to feel something to receive and be touched by the Lord!

after which i went to help to catch and be a line former at the same time. FYI, yes i'm serving in 2 ministries MM and RSM! :-) so when i went to serve, at that moment when i was preparing to catch for one of my DG members, THE LORD SPOKE TO ME. 

The funny thing is that the Lord spoke to me not when hands were laid on me, but when i was serving in His house. Amazing! to all those who served during camp, know that you will not be shortchanged, because the Lord will never take away something without restoring MORE unto you!!! And when you serve in the house of the Lord, you won't miss out, because He CAN and He WILL speak to you  right where you are. The double portion is indeed there when you AVAIL yourself to serve.

# WOWSOMUCHLOVE

(This comes the part where the Lord spoke to me, and if you're still reading, i wanna appreciate you! haha, and i hope you're blessed by what i've shared. )

A little background info: as some of you may know, i have a pretty big family, parents and 3 siblings plus a helper at home. At times when i break down, i have nowhere to go except, yes you got it. 

THE TOILET.

And so during ministering, i was just serving when the Lord revealed images of me breaking down all by myself, with muffled sobs and a throbbing head ache. And I'm telling i hated those memories. it reminded me of how WEAK i was, how easily defeated i was. They were the last things i wanted to recall at this camp, yet the Lord showed them to me. 

Immediately, i wanted to shut this thoughts down and i was like NO no no no please, stop. But before i did, there was a voice, so calming and peaceful that said, 

"No, it's alright."

In such loving tenderness, He came right where i was and touched me. 

You know what guys, from that ministering, the Lord just told me that it was okay to be vulnerable before Him. He knows what you're going through and how you feel, but it's one thing to feel these things, and another to TELL the Lord about it. Like David, who wrote in the book of Psalms when he was happy or down or fearful. And i really like what Kaili, one of my roomie shared with me.

so this is a small part of what i've recevied from EJ! 

i hope you guys are blessed by it hehe.

Josephine 

The Joy of The Lord is Jo's strength!

Hey guys  I apologise for not blogging 

(No one reads them why am I apologising ahhaha) 

Haha oh and I have this small testimony to share with y'all!! 

So this week is full of intensive and school for us sec 4s and that includes me to. I wasn't feeling well last night and signs of flu and even sore eyes were showing up even when I went to bed. Moreover, this morning I was actually really tired but I decided to go for a morning run before school started, (Wednesday is one of my morning run days) and I also talked to The Lord about my problems (staying awake in class etc) and yes. 

Since 8 in the morning, I've been doing work and I was actually otw to tuition haha. 

But the thing is I don't feel tired of stressed at all!

I mean c'mon. 

8-10am AM

10.30-12.30pm EM 

1-3pm physics 

3-4.30pm physics paper 

5-7pm AM tuition 

And I barely fell asleep in class!  (Only 

Crazinesszzxzxc you might say, but you know what? :-) 

Let's all be reminded that the joy of the Lord is our strength. No matter what you face,no matter what you need- be it wisdom, favour, strength to face your situations , the energy to focus in class, the joy to find meaning in life, the concentration and determination etc, ASK THE LORD. For He freely gives, and gives WILLINGLY, exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever ASK OR IMAGINE! 

On the side note, It's the 4th of June, one month after my birthday. And it's a day for me to open a really important letter. So hopefully I'll start blogging every 4th of the month ahah. 

If you're reading this, you'll know who you are and I just wanted to say that I do keep every single letter you write to me. And of course I'd like to thank you 

Josephine 

Mission Trip 2013

This year's mission trip has exceeded my expectations, as not only did most of my expectations come to past, but the way God made me experience it first hand was significant! After hearing what Deacon shared about his experience of ministering to one crying youth, I felt that I wanted that too! Hence, one of my expectations was to be that girl, who is  able and willing to minister to that one person. 

On the last day of lessons in Ban Dong Nam school, I requested for the 3 youths in our P5 class who didn't received salvation  yesterday, to come up front again. This time, Filter and Mak decided to receive Christ! Hence, the 3 of us held hands and as I prayed for them, I was just so touched and overjoyed at how The Lord always provides second chances!

After that, I realised "chok", the only boy in the P5 class who didn't want to receive Christ had left to read a book at the side of the classroom. Then, I decided to just spent time to minister to that one kid. I was reminded of how coach had spent 30mins to just minister and love a crying child. And that's what I did. With a tear stained face, I requested for chok to be prayed for. I remember myself saying to him, "it doesn't matter if you receive christ or not, because Jesus will still see you these. And you are very precious to Him." 

However, after I prayed for him, he still went to the side of the classroom to "read". That's when I tried putting myself in his shoes- the whole class has been saved but I'm not. How left out, how lonely Chok must have felt... I went up to him, and placed my arms around him. All I remember was the shot of hurt in his eyes. Even though he gave me a blank face, like he was least interested in the affection I was showing him, I just continued ministering to him by just holding him by my side. I hugged, talked to him and continuously told him to cheer him up in Thai! However, it appeared to me that he didn't want me near him. Before lessons ended, we took polaroids with the P5s again, and I did too with Chok. I could sense that he wasn't smiling for the photo, but it didn't matter. I really wanted to love him with God's love in me. However, I found out that Chok actually took the polaroid of us! That meant that he actually felt loved and wanted to keep the Polaroid of me and him as memory. Which really made me happy! God has allowed me to meet my expectation- to be a girl who is willing and able to minister to that ONE person. 

That night, another one of my expectations came to past again- to personally see souls saved! After Deacon encourage the youths to go around KMB to ask if anyone hasn't received Christ and would want to, Kelvin and I went around. Soon after, we met this lady and her daughter. We found out that she wasn't a christian. Hence, we asked her if she wanted to receive Christ and she agreed! All glory to God! There, Kelvin, Nigel and I prayed for her and we were glad that God has used the 3 of us to reach out to a lady at the corner of the room! 

Not only that, during the last night of DG sharing, I felt that when I stepped out to lead the DG during sharing, it was so effortless! The anointing and favour of God was so strong and it flowed profusely through me. It was so evident that I could see the quietest people in the DG share about how they felt whenever we held alter calls, and the reason behind their tears. Indeed, it was heartwarming to not only facilitate a DG sharing, but also to have an interactive one! One where we treated each other as family, where we shared how we really felt deep down in our hearts. 

This experience is indeed different from last year's parent child mission trip, as we managed to step out at such a young age with our friends, to spread the gospel! Not only that, but we were all empowered by God to do great and mighty exploits!